make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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