After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
