it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
