she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
