Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
