Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
