Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
