if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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