it wasn't lemon gatorade
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We left an ass print on the piano.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
