it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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