let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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My vagina just recognized that song.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
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Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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