so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
