she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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