I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
