Betty ford says i'm here all night
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
