I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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