you would pick up someone in the library
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
try to milk me bitch
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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