I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
