It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
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You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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