He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
