I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
