Yo dont text me then not text me
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
