it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
