I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
