Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
