I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
