Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face

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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!

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(631): View more from New York

But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.

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(229): View more from Georgia

Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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(973): View more from New Jersey

My vagina just recognized that song.

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(707): View more from California

I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA

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(770): View more from Georgia

Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.

(770): View more from Georgia

Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.

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