And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
