This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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