Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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