Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
