Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
