Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
