don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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