i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just high enough for therapy.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
