she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
