I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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