2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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