i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
