I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
