found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
