I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
