I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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