so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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