party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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