just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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