dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
