you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
