Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize