oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
