i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
