If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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