There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
