I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
