I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
