I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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