So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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