just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
