wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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