Non-Jews are for practice
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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