Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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