Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
