I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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