If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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